LONG ROAD OF LIFE..

Taking the easy road... That is what I think a lot of people think I have done.. When I lost my job at the golden arches I was a little lost, I had been there for about ten years or so.. I thought I'd get a job sure as can be but then I started to realize that I struggled like hell to find that job and was reluctant to try anywhere else.. Then by June of that year my dad started to have health issues in his diabetic situation.. He had pnemonia a few years before and the Christmas before was back in the hospital with it.. This time his kidneys would struggle to maintain cleansing of his blood and he would have to do dialysis for the remainder of his life (look for an entry elsewhere on this blog).. I was glad to be here to help him and mom.. After his death I could have gone back to work for a few years but in the past two, approaching three I have had to stay and take care of mom.. I have a problem with people who complain about taking care of their parents, without them they wouldn't have had to worry about such a task, they wouldn't exist.. I don't think I've wasted my life or thrown my life away, there really was no life to throw away truth be told...

My older brother once asked some time back if I had given up on a girlfriend or whatever and at the time I felt somewhat insulted because I had a few girls I was looking at.. However those were just pipe dreams.. A few years ago I had a chance to rectify that relationship situation.. I had started talking to a girl on line from an on-line dating service.. But the more I talked to her the less I felt we had in common. I could have tried to meet her and maybe something might have come of it but.. I felt the better judgement was to not try.. And now as I get older I don't think it would be fair to anyone to try.. Mom wishes I would meet someone and I tell her I wouldn't know what to do.. I think if I ever met someone that she would die suddenly and I'd feel even worse because I'd be alone again.. NICE PRACTICAL JOKE!!..

OPEN FOOT INSERT MOUTH: So today's festivities started off well enough but then something I did (more than likely) pissed my older brother off.. I wasn't ready for anything like that, or it was my little brother pissed him off, either way I don't know what happened.. Seems like every year we have something happen to set someone off.. This year was special though, Everyone was home for the holidays... It was a return to closer to normal..

Before everyone came down I went to the cemetery to put some seasonal flowers on dads grave marker and to put a long overdue flag.. I had been meaning to put a flag out there all summer and finally got it there. I felt good to be there, to be with dad, although I never feel that far from him.. We talked about him the other day on our way back from shopping, how he and I would make a trek to Cheyenne just about every year after he got out of school for winter break and he wanted to get one last thing before Christmas.. I loved those trips, although we didn't speak much to each other, I just liked being around him... It's the little things like these that I miss the most about him being gone...

BH